Single parent, a choice with lots of challenges

Nowadays, it is more common to see single parents around the town compared to a decade ago. Both men and women have their own reasons before deciding to raise the children themselves. Whatever the reasons are, being single parents seems sometimes cannot be avoided. If this is your current situation, one thing you should have is positive way of thinking. Your mind and behavior have to be positive because you are the only role model for the children. As the one who will guide and love your children, you cannot make mistakes. Of course, this is the real challenge you have to face every day.

In addition, you need to work hard and earn enough money. Financial issue is getting more complicated for single parents because they cannot share the financial responsibility with the spouse. Single income you have should be able to cover the entire needs included education, health, and insurance. Some single parents do not think this as real problem because they create some financial sources through working in an office, selling some products online, making home products, etc. The key is creativity and keeping the sprit. Do not forget, you need to be smart shopper in getting your daily needs.

Another thing you are going to face is you will be the one who is responsible in doing all household tasks. Indeed, you can handle certain tasks like sweeping the floor, or dust the window to the older child. But, you cannot distribute the tasks like paying the bills, keeping up the yard, and cooking the meal. The point is you need to be healthy, so that you will have more energy and power to be single parent. If this is your choice, make sure you decide it wisely and comprehend the challenges.

Showing your affection is a must

When people are talking about affection, they have already known the meaning and surely believed that they have given and shown enough affection to their children. However, all of them are not relatively true. Affection basically can be described as the feeling of owning that is completed with love. You will precisely say “yes” or “sure” when another people ask you about your love to your children. What about the affection? Perhaps you will also answer “yes”. But, how do you show your affection to your children? Do they feel that affection? Is that enough?

Showing affection is a must to do because your children will constantly do and search the ways, so that you will love them always. Most parents will think that giving affection can be done by kissing, saying good morning, helping them in their daily activities, taking them to play ground, purchasing various toys, and many more. Yes, all of these examples are correct. But remember, you have to do it with the whole hearted you posses. Your children will feel whether your affection is natural or a kind of obligation from parents to children. You cannot lie or pretend to be full of affection to them. It means your affection should be derived from the bottom of your heart.

What happen if you show a fake affection to your children? There many possibilities toward this matter. Probably they will search other people to be loved such as grandma, nanny, aunty, or others. Or, they will pretend to behave negatively just to get your attention and affection. They will not do what you say or tell them. Based on these examples, you have no choice except showing your sincere affection to your children as much and as early as possible.

Never forget to appreciate your children

It is normal for parents to expect some improvements towards their children behavior, motor skills, and cognitive skills. For these reasons, they download materials, purchase books, give guidance, and stimulate the children maximally. On the children side, they feel very happy to know, see, touch, and experience new things. They feel very happy when they can do something new. As parents, you are recommended to always appreciate your children once they get new thing. Although their achievement looks simple and easy for adult, it is the result of high effort.

Mostly, parents will compare their children with other children. They seem to be jealous when other children can do something and their own children cannot. Remember, each child is unique and never be the same as others. Giving appreciation is the powerful support you can do to maximize their emotional growth. While you are expressing your appreciation, your children feel that they are doing something good and supported to do another better thing or behavior. The simple words like “thank you” or “pretty good” will make your children decide something right or wrong. Again, never underestimate what your children achieve or do. Simple steps, words, and acts mean something big and meaningful. Keep supporting and appreciating your children, so that they will be directed to keep doing good behavior which you want and expect.

However, sometimes your children seem to behave uncontrollable and do not want to follow your guidance. In this case, you need to be patience and not to be panic. Screaming or yelling will not help both of you at all. Remember, you are the role model of your children. If you want them to behave nicely, it is a must for you to do so. Once you are yelling, they will think it is allowed and normal to do. Yelling is not the antonym of appreciating. You teach nothing by yelling but you teach more things by appreciating. Guide your children passionately and surely give your appreciation when they are on the right path.

Be available for your children

Starting to live as a parent will make you feel very happier than before. You are going to see many different things everyday and be surprised when your children have new achievements. It seems that the feeling cannot be described fully simply because there is no word can describe the happiness of being parents. But, it is not enough. You need to increase your parenting skills gradually to make sure that you treat your children well.

What some people do is remembering their childhood period and applying their parents’ parenting methods to the children. Well, it is not relatively true because the era is different. Some methods can be applied but some others cannot. If your parents are always beside you and present on your special events, you need to do the same to your children. Yes, you should be available for your children although you feel that you are busy and have hectic days.
Available does not mean that you accompany them watch the favorite TV program or read story book before sleeping. It means that you need to spend enough quality time, so that your children feel that they are important to you. Try to smile and happy in front of them although you have bad day on your office. Your children will not care whether you have good or bad day. They will not understand your work difficulties and problems. What they need is the same smile and affection from you. Indeed, it is impossible to be available all the time, but good time management will save both of you and keep the bond between you and your children.

Learn parenting skills as early as possible

Being a good parent is a must. Unfortunately, there is no school, academy, or education institution which teaches you to be a good parent. Even, there is no single parenting subject that you can pursue through formal education system. The parenting skills most people have are gathered from the experience and relied on their intuition. These facts make each person apply different parenting methods based on what they think as good ones. Of course, this is not relatively correct. What you think is good for your children do not mean good on your children point of view and needs.

That makes you start to realize the importance of learning parenting skills. Some people start learning when they are expecting the baby, while some others learn at the same time they raise the kids. Both of them are good although learning as soon as possible is considered as the better one. The reason is you are going to interact to children and teens in your family. During Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday, you will meet the entire family member and perhaps interact with the children. You need to know how to start talking, communicate, play with them, and even handle the spoiled ones. Never think that learning parenting skills is useless since you have no children yet. Learning earlier makes you have wider knowledge and good sense and empathy towards children.

By doing so, you will realize that parenting is full time or more than full time job. It looks easy that it seems. Many parents make mistake in parenting their children. Learning earlier will avoid you from making the same mistakes and recognize the mistakes. In case you already make mistake, you will be able to accept the mistakes and surely learn from the mistakes. Therefore, there is nothing wrong to buy books, read sources, and go online to know more about parenting skills and methods from now on.